Perhaps you have goals for your life but find yourself distracted with day to day life, confused about what to do next or frustrated and feeling stuck?

You'll love how Mind Movies can be used as a tool to engage your subconscious mind and turn your goals into powerful, supercharged statements to the Universe that you are ready to reach your goal, create a new reality, fully live your purpose and activate the Law of Attraction in your life!

Get your Mind Movies 2.1 Creation Kit at:

http://www.mindmovies.com/mm21/Manifesting.php?18759

Your Mind Movies are simple and fun to create, but they are even more fun to use as part of your daily disciplines for success! Of course, I highly recommend using Mind Movies as part of a coaching package, but by themselves, Mind Movies are a proven effective way to engage the subconscious mind to produce desired results!

Feel free to contact me for more information at 603-452-7350 or by submitting the form below!

Save your change and change the world.

Okay, maybe you won’t save the world but you could certainly help your community! If you set aside your loose change each week through the end of the year
you will be surprised at how much you accumulate!
Then, if you donate this to an organization doing good in your neighborhood you can really make a difference…and you won’t even feel a pinch in your wallet!

Shared with permission by Positivity Nation. Visit them at www.positivitynation.com

If you're looking for a great cause to suppport with your change while
enhancing positivity in your life, buy your Positivity Bracelet today!. 
Positivity Bracelets help stop negativity while helping the
White Mountain Community Health Center
to support and inspire teens to be the best they can be!
$6.00 shipping included, simply click below!

I've developed the following tips as a result of twenty years of working with teenagers around sexuality, substance use and risk behavior. I have plenty more, but this is a good start.

Please note that I sometimes  find myself disagreeing with the experts who deal with data and research around teen behavior. The tips I share here come from my front line experience working with teens in my clinic, in the classroom and working with my team of peer educators. I spend lots of time talking with teens. I build rapport with teens easily and am an expert at establishing a supportive and nonjudgemental environment in which teens can learn and grow. In return, teens give me their honest opinions and share their experiences readily when I ask them to.

So here you go ...

Let your teen know what your values are ... and why!

Teens want to know what's important to you.Surveys of teens consistently tell us that parents have the most influence on what teens. It may not seem like they are listening when you speak, but they are. They may even resist "the talk" but they really want to hear what you have to say. They also want to know why you feel the way you do. Even if it appears they could care less.

Also, don't be afraid to disclose personal experiences that led you to forming your values. They don't need the nitty gritty details, but a general idea of why you feel the way you do is very helpful. Although some of the experts may not agree with me on this, teens tell me that they want to hear about the experiences that led you to your values.. They say it helps them feel  feel more connected and helps them make better choices.

Conversations should be ongoing, using a "go where they are" approach.

Look for opportunities in everyday life to bring up a topic and check in with your teen. Perhaps a movie or TV show you've shared brings up a topic. Or a conversation you had or heard while driving your teen and their friends to or from an activity.  In response to a news story or a school event. Perhaps something on the internet.

Short "soundbytes" seem to work best. I do my best work on a chairlift ride, In the few minutes in before class starts, on the couch while knitting socks in between patients at the clinic, in the school cafeteria line or walking down the hall with a student, or via text message or a two minute Facebook chat. Teens love to share their opinions and perspective ... so ask! Go where they are!

One teen told me that she and her Mom have a shared journal where they write notes back and forth to each other ... sometimes about basic day to day stuff that they each need to know ... sometimes posing a question or concern with thoughts and feelings shared. Very rarely do they take the conversation out of the journal and if they do, it usually comes in the form of time spent together doing something fun while continuing their dialogue.

A note here ... teens often tell me that they feel guilty about not spending as much time with family as they used to. It is perfectly natural for teens to want to hang out with friends more often. It's part of growing up and becoming more independent. However planning special, fun time between you and your teen is important!

Encourage your teen to have an adult support system in addition to yourself.

I recommend the Rule of Five. Encourage your teen to develop a list of five adults over 25 (it's a brain development thing ... more on that later) from five places in their lives. Even though you share your values with your teen, your teen may not choose to adopt them as their own ... at least not right away. Therefore, be sure to include resources that will help them sort through the questions they may have and get accurate information about sexuality, alcohol and drugs. Even if you promote abstinence ... please, please, please encourage your teen to have access to comprehensive information just in case there is a gap between your values and their own!

Teens are curious and many teens will experiment ... no matter what you do to support them. Don't take it personally. Keep in mind the ultimate goal. To keep them safe and support them in making healthy choices.  

I survey teens in the classroom all the time. They tell me that when it comes to sex, drugs and alcohol, they would rather talk to their friends. Their primary reasons are: fear of punishment, fear of parents restricting friends, and fear of disappointing their parents. Teens say that even if they aren't participating in risk behavior, they would rather not let their parents know they are curious or have any questions.

From my perspective, the big problem with teens just talking wth their friends is that their friends are functioning with a teen brain, which is not fully developed and will most likely not be able to see the big picture, assess risk and support healthy choices. So Five People From Five Places over the age of 25 is a great rule of thumb.

Talk with your teen about your family history.

There seems to be a genetic predisposition to alcoholism and addiction that runs in families. Your teen absolutely needs to know their family history in order to make healthy, informed choices around substance use. Keeping secrets and denial about alcoholism and addiction in families is a common occurence. For the sake of your teenager, be honest and open. If you can't, engage the help of a family member who can. It's crucial!

To be honest, although they sometimes seem disengaged or disinterested, kids don't miss much when it comes to family dynamics around drinking and drug use. They are very perceptive and sensitive as well as curious. Their job is to take it all in so they can grow up and become independent. So be careful to underestimate what they know and observe. I am always amazed at the stories kids share that I'm sure would surprise parents if they knew their kids had even noticed.

Avoid the "not my kid" trap!

I often talk with teens and parents together about sex and substance use. As part of what I do, I insist on spending some time alone with teens to be sure that the information shared in the presence of a parent is, in fact, accurate. In my experience I've discovered that there seems to be a period of time when teens don't share information with their parents about substance use and sexual behavior. I've outlined the reasons above. The bottom line is that parents need to support their kids in getting adult support in addition to (not in place of) themselves in order to best support their teens.

Feel free to share your comments, concerns or questions by clicking on "Add Comment" below or by emailing me privately at trisharx@aol.com. Remember that I have access to an amazing panel of teens working with me who are happy to share their perspective with you and answer your questions!

As I expected, the responses I received in answer to the question, "Should parents allow teens to drink at home?" were all over the board. They came in from parents, teens, young adults, adults with no kids, a few people who have suffered with alcohol related issues, a couple of youth professionals and even a couple of my relatives!

Here's an overview of the responses for your consideration. Tomorrow I'll share some tips for dealing with teens and alcohol based on the feedback I get directly from teens in the course of my work.

First the No's:

"No."  "No!"  "Nope."  "No way, no how."  "Absolutely NOT!!!!" and a resounding "HELL NO!!!!" 

Next up, the No's with an explanation:

"No. Why take the chance that they may like the taste or the feeling it gives so much that they may want it too much. Also, kids brains are not fully developed, therefore they can be re-routed, so to speak, to go on to develop dependency issues. This has been scientifically proven. Plus, never forget...it IS illegal."

"For what it's worth, the kids I knew who were allowed to drink at home underage are now some of the biggest drinkers I know. I wouldn't say they are all alcoholics, but they definitely drink more than my friends who weren't allowed to drink at home. Personally, I think it's a mixed message . . . you can drink here . . . but no where else! And while it sounds logical to adults who are like, well at home there are limits and more safety . . . most logic like that is lost on kids."

Then the Yes and No's:

"Depends on the kid."

"Depends on the kid and depends on the parents! Especially their experiences with alcohol."

Next, the Yes's:

"Yeah because it makes it less special/rebellious (not that that is a conscious reason why I've ever done it, but probably is a subconscious reason for many that makes it more fun).. gives them a safe place to be, and encourages open and honest communication."

"Having lived in Germany for 8 years, it is done over there and thus it is not such a "big" thing to sneak around and drink illegally."

Then the Maybe and It Depends:

"Considering the liver isn't fully developed until you are 20, health wise it may not be a great idea. However, I agree with giving them a safe place and not making it such a big deal. I've seen that work quite well for some."

"Good point on the liver, but if they are going to drink they will find a way with or without our permission anyway."

"Here's my take: #1 it depends on the kid; #2 it depends on the health of the parents, regardless of alcoholic hx; #3 a little bit at home, after the age of 14, perhaps on special occasions, to me, demystifies the allure of alcohol and doesn't make it such a big deal but ultimately...see #1. I don't think alcohol is the enemy. The chaos within families is most often the key."

And then, the slightly sarcastic :)

"Yes. And they should let them smoke pot too. And they should encourage them to use heroin; maybe even inject it for them."

Then I posed the following question:

The research suggests that there is a genetic predisposition to alcoholism. That is a fancy way of saying that alcoholism may run in families. Based on this, do you think teens should know their family's history and experience around drinking and alcoholism before they are faced with making their own decisions around drinking?

"Absolutely!"

"They absolutely should know if there is an addiction problem in their family. From what I've known, it does influence their decisions, especially if they were first hand witnesses to things they maybe didn't understand at the time."

"They absolutely should know their family history. I have already had this discussion with my teens and have been honest with them about the family as well as my own experimentation."

"Yes they should, kids become more comfortable talking about it with their parents, and learn that it's not about getting drunk, rather a social thing, so when kids get in college they don't go crazy because they are free to do whatever their parents didn't allow them to do."

Coming tomorrow ... Tips for Dealing with Teens and Alcohol

In the meantime, feel free to join in on the discussion or ask questionsby clicking on "Add Comment" below!

 

I'm interested in your answer to this question. Check out the article below ... then click on "Add comment" below and let me know what you think along with your connection to teens, i.e. are you a teen, a parent, teacher, youth serving professional?

http://www.aolhealth.com/2011/03/15/should-parents-let-teens-drink-at-home/

In the Success Principles, Jack Canfield suggests structuring your time using "The Entrepreneurial Time System". Using this system you would divide your time into three kinds of days: Focus Days, Buffer Days and Free Days.

Free Days are days that goes from midnight to midnight with no work related activity of any kind. I'm taking a Free Day today ... and tomorrow. There's still snow on the mountain, the sun is shining and the conditions are sweet! I missed the midnight mark, so I guess I'll begin now.

See you on Monday and have a great weekend!

To get more information on The Success Principles, visit :
http://www.jackcanfield.com/cmd.php?Clk=3884192

I love the audio book (if you're like me and technology, ask your teen to help you download it onto an MP3 so you can listen as you go about your day!

I also love the 30 day audio course. In addition to great information, the workbook will get you into action quickly!

Lift up your voice!

Call, write, visit, e-mail, or text an elected official (or a decision maker) about an issue that you are passionate about. Be a catalyst for change.Your voice matters...exercise the "power of one".
 
“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” 
~Edward Everett Hale

A Year of Positive Action is shared with permission by Positivity Nation. Vistit them at www.positivitynation.com
 
I'm taking action to support the elimination of Title V abstinence only until marriage funding and the shifting of these funds to help support effective, evidence-based comprehensive, abstinence-based sexuality education for teens. If you're interested, read more at http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/blogs-main/advocates-blog/1808-take-action

No matter what your goal is and no matter how big or small, breaking them down into into smaller pieces makes it easier to take daily action that leads to achieving desired results.

I tend to to be a visionary. I have big ideas, transformational vision and creative ideas that have the capacity to change the world. I have amazing intuition, keen sensitivity and am well connected to my passion, my purpose, my emotions and my creativity.

However, if it were not for some pretty solid coaching around how to break the big picture down into smaller pieces and some accountability around taking action, I would most likely stay lost in my vision. I would continue to spin around and around in my inner cycle of creativity, would never take focused action and would close myself off from the abundance the Universe has to offer me.

So, supported by a set of wonderful success principles, some solid coaching, a simple daily practice to support effortless success, and accountability partners, I am able to turn my goals into reality.

I can easily get overwhelmed by the big picture. Using the Mind Map technique provides me with an great tool to get out of overwhelm, chunk down the big goals into smaller pieces, develop daily action plans and create opportunities for inspired action that move me to results!

Read more about Mind Mapping in this article titled Chunk Down That Goal and Get Out of Overwhelm by Jack Canfield

http://www.jackcanfield.com/articles/item/408-chunk-down-that-goal-and-get-out-of-overwhelm.html

Many of us set goals with all good intentions of reaching them. Often life gets in the way or something else grabs our attention and, before we realize it, we've lost our focus and direction. Sometimes we stay focused on the goal, but get overwhelmed by how big it seems or by the effort it will take to achieve it. In both cases, the results are often the same, we simply give up.
 
Success expert, Jack Canfield, in his book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, outlines 6 Daily Disciplines to Create Effortless Success in reaching the goals we set for ourselves and achieving the results we want. The Six Daily Disciplines are based on the science of success and the subconscious mind, the power of intention and visualization, our personal energy field, the power of gratitude and taking both planned and inspired action on a daily and ongoing basis.

I've always been one of those people who got easily overwhelmed by big goals and overwhelming to do lists! Great ideas have turned into inaction and a sense of personal failure and disappointment. No more!

The Success Principles have helped me stay focused and avoid getting overwhelmed while keeping me in action mode and achieving desired results ... or often, something even better!

Success principles like " Chunk It Down Using the Swiss Cheese Method" and "Practice the Rule of Five" help to break big goals into smaller parts and even smaller, manageable "to do lists", while creating the flow necessary to activate the Law of Attraction. Really cool stuff!

To complement the Success Principles, I've created a user friendly and fun Success System that we can use to help stay focused while creating solutions and achieving desired results with business and career goals as well as financial, relationship, health, recreation and personal goals.

If you have something you'd like to change, something you've been secretly dreaming about, or a goal that's been begging for your attention, perhaps it's time to give the Success Principles a try.

Today I'd like to share another article about overcoming fear, titled Build Momentum By Leaning Into It by Jack Canfield. I particularly like this article because it tells the story of Jana Stanfiled, the musician I've mentioned having had the pleasure of meeting at BTS and who's music I use in my work. 

What would you do today if you were brave? What would you do this year if you had no fear? What is your breakthrough goal? What are your health, career, personal growth, financial, relationship, fun and recreation goals for 2011? And what daily planned and inspired action are you taking to reach your goals?

Go ahead ... lean into the article and learn how to lean away from fear and move toward  reaching your goals at http://www.jackcanfield.com/articles/family-time/item/977.html

For more information about Jana Stanfield, visit www.janastanfield.com

For more information about the transformational Breakthrough to Success 7 day experience, visit the link below or email me at info@trishajacobson.com