Life has been really busy for me. I'm wrapping up the last week of classes, coordinating schedules and funding for a curriculum project I'll be piloting in the fall and preparing for my next week with my teacher and mentor, Jack Canfield. As exciting as things are right now, I'm looking forward to a long stretch of unscheduled time that begins the first week of June! But first, I have a June 1st deadline to meet for my first book. The book is my story of transformation through several significant relationships in my life. It spans over fifty years of my life and goes beyond the physical realm.. As I do my last read through before submitting it to the publisher, I am clear about the contrast between where I was and where I am today. As challenging as things have been at times, I am grateful for the lessons learned, the skills acquired, and wisdom gained as well as for the people who have supported me on my journey. This morning, as I wait for my next class to arrive I came across a poem I would like to share with you. Different words, but it catches the essence of my story ... and I'm guessing yours as well :) An Autobiography in 5 Chapters by Portia Nelson Chapter I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost...helpless. It isn't my fault. But it takes forever to find a way out. Chapter II I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in, again. I can't believe I am in this same place. It isn't my fault. But it still takes a long time to get out. Chapter III I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I fall in...it's a habit...but now my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. Chapter IV I walk down the same street. There is a hole deep in the sidewalk. I walk around it. Chapter V I walk down a different street. ~Author Unknown Consider completing this assignment:
1) Brainstorm a list of 25 things that bring you joy. 2) Look over your list to see if you are incorporating joy in your life on a daily basis. If not, pick something and start adding joy now! 3) If yes, add a couple more things on your list daily to further increase your daily joy. 4) See if you can figure out a way to make a living doing what brings you joy. Be creative and keep an open mind; ask someone to help you. (Oprah loves to hang out with people and talk and she's doing quite well!) And then start taking action to get you there. 5) Whenever you are stressed, frustrated, angry or wound up look at your joy list and pick something to shift your energy. That's not to say that it's bad to be stressed,frustrated or angry. From my experience, in the midst of these emotional states have been where some of my most amazing transformation has begun. It's just that being in the vibration of anger for prolonged periods of time doesn't serve anyone. So feel it, shift it and move on with joy! And if there's anything I can do to support you in your process, let me know ... "Scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. But today, they're learning that instead we respond to what the brain, based on previous experience, expects to happen next. In fact, the mind is such a powerful instrument; it can deliver literally everything you want. But you have to believe that what you want is possible." ~Jack Canfield, 7 Steps for Creating the Life You Want
Do You Have What It Takes? Success Begins With Believing by Jack Canfield In previous editions of Success Strategies, we've talked about how in order to be successful, we must first define what success means to us, and that means getting CLEAR about what you want, writing it down, and thinking BIG! If you are going to be successful in spite of a recession and create the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. You have to believe you have the right stuff, that you are able to pull it off. You have to believe in yourself. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence, or self-assurance, it is a deep-seeded belief that you have what it takes – the abilities, inner resources, talents, and skills to create your desired results. Ultimately, you must learn to control your self-talk, eliminate any negative and limiting beliefs, and maintain a constant state of positive expectations. There are many ways to access the subconsious mind and reframe and clear our limiting beliefs and negative-self talk. A couple of examples include EFT tapping and hypnosis, both of which can produce major breakthroughs on the road to success. Control Your Self-Talk Researchers have found that the average person thinks as many as 50,000 thoughts a day. Sadly, many of those thoughts are negative — I’m not management material... I’ll never lose weight... It doesn’t matter what I do, nothing ever works out for me. This is what psychologists call victim language. Victim language actually keeps you in a victim state of mind. It is a form of self-hypnosis that lulls you into a belief that you are unlovable and incompetent. In order to get what you want from life, you need to give up this victim language and start talking to yourself like a winner — I can do it... I know there is a solution... I am smart enough and strong enough to figure this out... Everything I eat helps me maintain my perfect body weight. You Are Always Programming Your Subconscious Mind Your subconscious mind is like the crew of a ship. You are it's captain. It is your job to give the crew orders. And when you do this, the crew takes everything you say literally. The crew (your subconscious) has no sense of humor. It just blindly follows orders. When you say, “Everything I eat goes straight to my hips,” the crew hears that as an order: Take everything she eats, turn it into fat and put it on her hips! On the other hand, if you say, “Everything I eat helps me maintain my perfect body weight,” the crew will begin to make that into reality by helping you make better food choices, exercise, and maintain the right metabolism rate for you body. This power of your subconscious mind is the reason you must become very vigilant and pay careful attention to your spoken and internal statements. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize they are committing negative self-talk, which is why it is best to enlist another person — your success partner — in monitoring each other’s speaking. You can have a signal for interrupting each other when you use victim language. Use Affirmations to Build Self-Confidence One of the most powerful tools for building self-worth and self-confidence is the repetition of positive statements until they become a natural part of the way you think. These “affirmations” act to crowd out and replace the negative orders you have been sending your crew (your subconscious mind) all these years. I suggest that you create a list of 10 to 20 statements that affirm your belief in your worthiness and your ability to create the life of your dreams. Of course, what to believe is up to you, but here are some examples of affirmations that have worked for others in the past:
Believing in yourself is a choice. It’s an attitude you develop over time. It’s now your responsibility to take charge of your own self-concept and your beliefs. It might help to know that the latest brain research now indicates that with enough positive self-talk and positive visualization combined with the proper training, coaching, and practice, anyone can learn to do almost anything. You must choose to believe that you can do anything you set your mind to – anything at all – because, in fact, you can! Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield here A Bittersweet Goodbye
Article by Jack Canfield Every summer I hold my Breakthrough to Success training and I've had over 5,000 people graduate from the program and literally transform their lives. During the past 30 years, I've guided high achievers through the time-proven system participants learn during Breakthrough to Success and it has been some of the most rewarding work I've ever done! However, after careful contemplation - and with 2012 being a year of massive transformation and change - I've decided that the time is right to move forward with my plans to retire this 7-day training program. This will be such a bittersweet goodbye for me as Breakthrough to Success is hands-down my favorite week of the year, because I get to help hundreds of high achievers break through their limitations and finally get to where they want to be in life. I am busy actively working on many new projects for 2013 (it's just the training that's "retiring," not me personally) but if you’ve ever wanted my personal guidance and attention for 7 full days, I invite you to attend the grand finale for this one-of-a-kind program. During this life-changing 7-day retreat, we'll work together to:
Since this summer’s Breakthrough To Success will be our final 7-day training, we are going all out, making this a celebration of huge proportions, and a very special training for participants. I'm excited to see that over a quarter of the seats have already been filled and I just know it will be best BTS yet. August 12th can’t come soon enough...I hope you'll make the decision to share this experience with me! Breakthrough To Success, August 12-18, 2012 Click here to learn more about the training Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now here. Ben Stein said, "The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is to decide what you want."
How many of us go through our days being busy most of the time, but not really paying attention to why we're doing what we're doing and not knowing what results we are looking for? According to Jack Canfield, only about 5% of Americans set clear measurable goals. Many of us are living our lives according to someone else's idea of what we should be doing, wanting or being. Alot of us put off doing what we love in exchange for making a living ... and before we know it, we've spent years doing work we don't love and discover that we aren't any closer to what we really want. Here's a start to deciding what you want out of life and getting a clear picture of what it looks like so we can begin to create it with the Law of Attraction. Activity 1 To get your creative juices flowing, make a list of 25 things you love to do. Things that make you happy, bring you joy. Look at each item on the list, one at a time, and come up with things you could do to make money doing whatever it is you wrote down. This is a brainstorm activity ... no judgment, no limits, no idea is deemed silly or impossible. Be open minded and creative. Perhaps you wrote down that you love to hang out and talk with people, but don't see how you could make a living doing that. Hmmmm ... Oprah did ... and she had to start somewhere. My guess is she set some goals around her purpose and took action to get herself where she is now. I recently had a conversation with a mom who is frustrated with her teen. All he wants to do is talk about and ride 4 wheelers. She came to me for help. My suggestion was to let him go with it. Let him explore all the ways he could make a living with 4 wheelers, as making a lot of money is one of his goals. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he most likely won't make a living riding 4 wheelers, but maybe he could write about the sport and get paid for his writing. That decision prompted him to explore another interest of his ... writing. The truth is it doesn't matter. It is the act of exploring possibilities and identifying action steps that builds entrepreneurial muscle and the skills that will eventually lead him to success built on passion and purpose. Finally, take a look at your list and be sure you do at least one of the things on your list every single day ... and preferably more! Activity 2 This activity is designed to help you clarify your vision. Although you could do this as a mental exercise, I strongly encourage you write down your answers so you can refer back to them later. 1) Focus on the financial area of your life. What is your desired annual income? What does your cash flow look like? What does your life look like assuming that your financial goals have already been met? Close your eyes and visualize what your home, your car, your life looks like. Fill in the details. Don't worry about how you'll get what you're visualizing. Just put yourself in the place of feeling the way you would feel is you already reached your financial goal. 2) Next, visualize your ideal job or career. Where are you working? With whom? What are you doing? Is it your own business? Again, focus on the details. 3) Next, focus on your free time/recreational time. What hobbies are you pursuing? Who are you spending time with? What do you do for fun? Where do you go on vacation? 4) Next, focus on your ideal vision for your body and your health. What does it look like? How do you maintain it? What types of activities are you participating in? 5) Next move on to your idea vision of your relationships with a partner, family and friends. 6) What about your personal goals around learning something new, healing an old hurt, working with a coach, growing spiritually, running a marathon or taking an art class? 7) Finally, focus on the community you choose to live in. Where are you living? What does it look like when it's operating perfectly? How do you serve your community? Who are you helping? Review your vision for each of these areas every day and visualize the details. Ideally twice a day; in the morning just as you wake up and just before you fall asleep. This will keep both your conscious and subconscious mind focused on your vision and engage the reticular activating system of your brain to go out and find it for you. As you continue to apply more of the Success Principles and add planned and inspired action and accountability to the process, you will begin to manifest the different aspects of your vision and will see the Law of Attraction in action. Activities 1 and 2 excerpted with permission from The Canfield Training Group from The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield. In additiont to being my teacher, coach and mentor, Jack is America's #1 Success Coach, founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. Here is a summary of the Law of Attraction as outlined by my teacher and mentor, Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and The Success Principles:
Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it and believe it's possible for you. Visualize already having what you want, feeling the feelings of already having it. Come out of that and focus on what you're grateful for already, and really enjoy it. Go into your day and release it to the Universe and trust that the Universe will figure out how to manifest it. And I'll add, when you get an intuitive hit that suggests inspired action ... go with it and watch the miracles unfold! I'm planning to teach a class on the practical application of the Law of Attraction the way Jack taught it to me. The goal of the class will be to identify exactly what you want, practice the steps to create it and provided some specific techniques to help release liming beliefs that block progress on your path to success. Email me if you're interested in the details! “There are two great days in a person’s life; the day we were born and the day we discover why.” ~William Barclay
Did you ever have a day that was chock full of activity; chores to do, tasks to complete, people to connect with, calls to make, emails to return, not to mention the time and effort involved in the basics of life like getting up and ready in the morning, eating, and whatever it is we do to support ourselves. By the time the day was done, you were exhausted and wondered what you had really accomplished in all the “busy-ness”. Perhaps you even heard yourself asking, “What am I doing?” or “Why am I doing this?” or “What’s the point of it all?” Imagine, for a minute, a life in which every action, interaction and activity was for a purpose. More specifically, what if each and every day of your life was by design and according to your purpose for being on the planet? Imagine that your purpose took into consideration your skills, talents, desires, dreams and preferences and provided you with a foundation for all your actions and the fuel to keep moving towards its fulfillment? The reality is that most people don’t slow down long enough to think about what they’re here to do, what they’re passionate about, what makes their life worth living or what they want to accomplish in life. Too often, by the time kids get into school, their hopes and dreams are pushed aside and have been reduced to ideas like, “that’s not possible” or “that’s just crazy” or “get your head out of the clouds”! And so we do. We put aside the clues to our passion and purpose and quickly find ourselves filling up our days with tasks and chores and activities that have little meaning or connection to our purpose. The older we get and the more responsibilities we have, the more our life becomes about making a living versus truly living our lives. That is a depressing thought, but I’m not going there today. It’s spring! A time for rejuvenation, new beginnings, fresh starts and new growth! So take a few minutes right now to begin to explore your purpose for being here in this life. This may sound huge … perhaps too big to tackle in just a few minutes, but I encourage you to start the process right now. I further encourage you to begin to shift the way you start your days. Spend a couple of minutes each morning thinking about your purpose. Do it again at night as you fall asleep. Your purpose doesn’t have to be perfect, nor does it have to be huge … just start where you are and look within and look forward. I had an amazing experience two years ago when I turned down the volume and decreased the speed of my life for a bit and began to explore my reason for being on the planet. At the time I was busy but I was bored, unhappy, unfulfilled and frustrated! My first attempts to uncover my purpose felt awkward and confusing, but quickly, I felt a shift in my energy which continues to expand today! My purpose was fuzzy at first. It took a lot of tweaking to get clear… and I’ll bet I’ll tweak it yet again as I learn and change and grow. My purpose is not perfect, but today, my purpose does need to be part of my daily routine. I am happier, more energetic, more focused and more successful than I have ever been. I have made a lot of changes in my life now that I am living on purpose … new people, new work, new attitudes, new focus. Taking some time to explore my life purpose has been the most important thing I have done to improve my life and put me on an exciting and meaningful path. Let’s get started! Get a notebook and pen or a blank computer screen. Activity 1 1) Make a list of 101 things you want to be, do, see or have before you die. You may want to take some time to watch the movie, “The Bucket List” to get in the groove of creating your own bucket list. Try to brainstorm as many things as possible in one sitting to help the subconscious mind get engaged in the process and bring unconscious desires into the conscious mind and onto the page. While you’re creating your list, think in terms of unlimited possibilities, i.e. anything is possible! Look for trends and themes in your list that may give you clues about what is meaningful to you. Consider sharing your list with others. It can be a pretty powerful experience! You never know who is listening, who or what resources they are connected to and how they can help you reach your goals. The truth is, it is inherent in our nature to want to help each other succeed. I recently received a huge sum of money that was way beyond my means to support a project that is on my bucket list. The money came after I shared my dream with a group of people I was teaching. Apparently, my benefactor had it on her bucket list to donate some money to help at risk teens and decided that I was the person she wanted to help. Activity 2 ~To zero in on your purpose, start with a list of the times in your life when you felt most happy, passionate and alive. What were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you? ~What did the experiences you listed above have in common with each other? ~Can you imagine a way to make a living doing these things? Read more about creating your life purpose statement in Jack Canfield’s book, The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. Consider hiring a one on one coach or participating in a coaching group program or study group to get more support. I've recently been inspired to create a blog series. The inspiration comes on the heels of several conversations I've had with 18 to 20-something year old young adults who are living unfulfilled lives and not really sure what to do about it. The vision is a series of posts targeed to young adults, but which adults in transition will also find beneficial.
The series is based on the question, "What would my life be like if I ...?" With each post I will fill in the " ..." part by introducing a principle of success,followed by a simple activity, action step or tips that have the potential to cause a shift in your life, uplevel your work, improve your relationships, discover new income streams, clarify your purpose, dream and vision and help you discover your reason for being on the planet! I'll post about 3 times a week for the next 8 weeks. My guess is that if you follow along, you will notice a shift in your thinking, acting and being as well as the results you are experiencing in your life! So let's get started! What Would My Life Be Like If I ... Take 100% responsibility for for my life with E + R = O ? Jim Rohn says, “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” Are you happy with your life? Your work? Your relationships? Your financial situation? Your living environment? Most of us have some things about our life that we’re not happy with. Often we fall into the trap of blaming external causes for why we’re not happy and successful. I am surrounded by adults who aren’t satisfied with their jobs while blaming the economy for forcing them to stay, or their bosses for their work environment when, in fact, they are choosing to stay and aren’t doing anything to make their work environment more pleasant. Many women I know aren’t happy in their relationships, yet would rather blame their partners for their unhappiness then take action to change what needs to be changed. I work with teenagers around pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease (STD) prevention, substance use and academic success. Teens have blamed the clinic for buying a "bad" kind of condoms, the condom company for making a cheap product or their partner for not using them when they get news of an unintended pregnancy or for giving them an STD. One teen even blamed her situation on her parents, stating that they wouldn’t let her go on birth control so that’s why she got pregnant. I once had a student tell me it was my fault he couldn’t graduate despite the fact that he chose to reject every opportunity his teachers and I (the school principal) gave him to make up his assignments and missed classes. Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series and The Success Principles, refers to blaming and complaining as “having a reference point of something we prefer that we are not willing to risk creating”. He goes on to suggest we consider the following formula: E + R = O E stands for all the “Events” in our lives. R stands for our “Responses” to those events. O stands for the “ Outcomes” we experience. He teaches that the outcomes we are experiencing in our lives are the result of our responses to the events that are occurring. He further suggests that we don’t have control over the circumstances and events that show up in our lives, nor can we control the behavior of the people in our lives. For example, we can’t control our bosses, our spouses, and the economy. However, we do have control over ourselves and the thoughts and choices we make and the actions we take in response to the events. In fact, our “R’s” are really the only thing we can control. Okay, so let’s be honest, taking 100% responsibility for everything in our lives can be difficult and feel overwhelming, especially to start. So how about taking 5% more responsibility to start? Activity 1) Get pen and paper or power up your laptop and complete each of the following statements: “If I were to take 5% more responsibility for my life and well-being, I would …” “If I were to take 5% more responsibility for living my passion, I would … “ “If I were to take 5% more responsibility for the attainment of my goals, I would …” “If I would take 5% more responsibility for the success of my relationships, I would …” 2) For each statement, list one action step you can take in the next week towards taking 5% more responsibility. 3) On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to follow through with the listed action? If your ranking is below 8, consider that there may be something getting in your way that needs further exploration. If you really want to make lasting changes, improve your self-esteem, explore your life purpose and increase success in your life, hiring a coach, getting an accountability partner or partiipating in a coaching group are all great ways to jumpstart your process, remove the blocks that have been standing in your way on your road to success and move into action! I spend alot of time online using social media for my work with teens and adults. The problem with that is how much time can easily be spent in ways that are not always productive ... following links, learning new information, listening to webinars, connecting with old friends on Facebook. Don't get me wrong, working with tech saavy teens has certainly connected me with amazing internet possibilities that I've used to my advantage, but I've had to work really hard to spend my online time wisely.
Yesterday I came across a link that struck deep down to the core of me. The picture was what first attracted me ... then the page name, tinybuddha... then the title of the featured article, Six Powerful Questions That Will Change Your Life Forever by James McWhinney. So I clicked ... and my life was changed. I couldn't help but post the link to my personal page on Facebook. The private messages of gratitude I got in my email box were astounding! In just hours, lives had been affected in huge ways ... across the country and around the world! So for those of you in transition, here you go. Or feel free to pass this post onto someone you know who might benefit. 1. What do I absolutely love in life? 2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far? 3. What would I stand for if I knew no one would judge me? 4. If my life had absolutely no limits and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do? 5. What would I do if I had one billion dollars? 6. Who do I admire most in the world? Feel free to leave comments below or email me privately with your insights, experiences and, of course, to explore how I can help you incorporate your answers into your life! For the full article by James McWhinney, click here. As a member of Jack Canfield's Train the Trainer 2012 class, I have just received a pre-public announcement that Jack Canfield will no longer be doing Breakthrough to Success, his life changing 7 day live event. His last event will be in August 2012.
If you've been reading my blog, you know that BTS marked a time for major transformation for me and my life literally has never been the same for the experience. As a TTT 2012 member, I have been given a special discount code to pass on to my friends and colleague. Click on the banner below and use GRADFRIEND to save an amazing $1500 when you register today. If you are at all interested, act fast as I'm sure this will sell out quickly when Jack goes public with this announcement. As a BTS graduate, I am sad about Jack's announcement to discontinue this amazing live experience. But as a TTT member, I am excited to see what's next for Jack and The Canfield Training Group! Don't forget the code GRADFRIEND when you register! |
Transition on Purpose
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