I've recently been inspired to create a blog series. The inspiration comes on the heels of several conversations I've had with 18 to 20-something year old young adults who are living unfulfilled lives and not really sure what to do about it. The vision is a series of posts targeed to young adults, but which adults in transition will also find beneficial.
The series is based on the question, "What would my life be like if I ...?"
With each post I will fill in the " ..." part by introducing a principle of success,followed by a simple activity, action step or tips that have the potential to cause a shift in your life, uplevel your work, improve your relationships, discover new income streams, clarify your purpose, dream and vision and help you discover your reason for being on the planet!
I'll post about 3 times a week for the next 8 weeks. My guess is that if you follow along, you will notice a shift in your thinking, acting and being as well as the results you are experiencing in your life!
So let's get started!
What Would My Life Be Like If I ...
Take 100% responsibility for for my life with E + R = O ?
Jim Rohn says, “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.”
Are you happy with your life? Your work? Your relationships? Your financial situation? Your living environment? Most of us have some things about our life that we’re not happy with. Often we fall into the trap of blaming external causes for why we’re not happy and successful.
I am surrounded by adults who aren’t satisfied with their jobs while blaming the economy for forcing them to stay, or their bosses for their work environment when, in fact, they are choosing to stay and aren’t doing anything to make their work environment more pleasant.
Many women I know aren’t happy in their relationships, yet would rather blame their partners for their unhappiness then take action to change what needs to be changed.
I work with teenagers around pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease (STD) prevention, substance use and academic success. Teens have blamed the clinic for buying a "bad" kind of condoms, the condom company for making a cheap product or their partner for not using them when they get news of an unintended pregnancy or for giving them an STD. One teen even blamed her situation on her parents, stating that they wouldn’t let her go on birth control so that’s why she got pregnant.
I once had a student tell me it was my fault he couldn’t graduate despite the fact that he chose to reject every opportunity his teachers and I (the school principal) gave him to make up his assignments and missed classes.
Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series and The Success Principles, refers to blaming and complaining as “having a reference point of something we prefer that we are not willing to risk creating”. He goes on to suggest we consider the following formula:
E + R = O
E stands for all the “Events” in our lives.
R stands for our “Responses” to those events.
O stands for the “ Outcomes” we experience.
He teaches that the outcomes we are experiencing in our lives are the result of our responses to the events that are occurring. He further suggests that we don’t have control over the circumstances and events that show up in our lives, nor can we control the behavior of the people in our lives. For example, we can’t control our bosses, our spouses, and the economy.
However, we do have control over ourselves and the thoughts and choices we make and the actions we take in response to the events. In fact, our “R’s” are really the only thing we can control.
Okay, so let’s be honest, taking 100% responsibility for everything in our lives can be difficult and feel overwhelming, especially to start. So how about taking 5% more responsibility to start?
1) Get pen and paper or power up your laptop and complete each of the following statements:
“If I were to take 5% more responsibility for my life and well-being, I would …”
“If I were to take 5% more responsibility for living my passion, I would … “
“If I were to take 5% more responsibility for the attainment of my goals, I would …”
“If I would take 5% more responsibility for the success of my relationships, I would …”
2) For each statement, list one action step you can take in the next week towards taking 5% more responsibility.
3) On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to follow through with the listed action? If your ranking is below 8, consider that there may be something getting in your way that needs further exploration.
If you really want to make lasting changes, improve your self-esteem, explore your life purpose and increase success in your life, hiring a coach, getting an accountability partner or partiipating in a coaching group are all great ways to jumpstart your process, remove the blocks that have been standing in your way on your road to success and move into action!
Transition on Purpose