I totally get it, but I know I've been resistant about asking for and receiving feedback ... up until now.
As you may know, I wrote a book. It's a fiction novel called Match Meets the Metaphysical: A Transformational Journey to Light and Love. It is now with the editor going through the final editing stage and will soon be sent to the publisher. I anticipate a late fall release. Stay tuned for more details
Jack, author of the Chicken Soup of the Soul series, is a many times best selling author and considered an expert in the field. One of his biggest suggestions was that I send my manuscript out to 6-8 reviewers to get feedback.
He is my teacher and mentor and I have made a commitment to do what he suggests I do. So I put my manuscript on a flashdrive, went to Staples and had them print and bind eight copies. I went to the post office and got postage paid envelopes and retrun envelopes. I came home, made up a reviewer feedback form that a member of my Mastermind group shared with me. I addressed the envelopes to the people who agreed to be reviewers and packaged them up and placed them on the table by the door where I put outgoing mail, my car keys and everything else that is heading with me when I leave my house.
The envelopes sat there for over two weeks! It was literally as if I didn't even see them sitting there next to my keys. Finally I grabbed them on my way out one day, got distracted and while I was driving into town, I realized that I had left them behind.
Hmmmm ... clearly there was something up with that ... some resistance that was holding me back. I did what I've learned to do when that happens. I talked about it. I went to my Mastermind group, several members are published authors, and asked them for help. We laughed as they shared their stories of fear, resistance, of going public with their stories. And finally, they did what they always do. They asked how they could help me get over my fear and resistance of receiving feedback, which was hiding my fear of failure and my fear of success.
The day after the call, as promised, I mailed out the manuscripts and feedback forms. I've gotten lots of feedback ... the great, the not so great and some amazing suggestions for improvement and changes. From the feedback I now have a wonderful new introduction, an appendix I hadn't even thought of and a more clear idea of who my target audience is and who my target audience is not. From the feedback, I also got insight into the cover design and an idea for a couple of classes that I will be developing from the content of my book and the lessons I've learned and skills I've developed through my experience.
I took the not so positive feedback and used it in a constructive way. Instead of taking it personally, I asked for more feedback to help me decide what action to take and what changes to make. It helped me tune into and trust my gut, which always leads me in a positive direction.
Now I am a feedback junkie ... and much more aware of how my fear of success show up!